lost-space-cadet:

When I click on a video and it tries to send me to another app:

moonlandingwasfaked:

HIDEO KOJIMA, ABSOLUTE MAD MAN, AT IT AGAIN

ewonenaellav:

goes to Subway and when they ask what bread I want I just keep saying “Cupcake!” and giggling cutely until the employee shoots me in the head

lvl-5-kobold:

i just had the funniest experience in vr chat, i joined a random server and the one i joined had Japanese people so i waddled around in my goofy club penguin avatar that i have saved, after a while a guy walks up to me and clones my avatar so were both penguins then another guy shows up and clone my avatar

now keep in mind there only speaking Japanese i don’t know what they are saying, then another guy joins in, so i got a group of three penguin friends

we just waddle around and goof about, the one of them tries to talk to me, but not only do i not have a mic i also don’t speak Japanese, they figure out i don’t speak Japanese and start listing various places, they get the part of being European right, and after listing a lot of places they ask if im from the UK and when i nod they all just start cheering. after hanging out for a while one of them gets real close to me and whispers…

“penguin brothers forever”

tredlocity:

tredlocity:

i hate that some sites sell our personal data to corporations. we should cut the middleman and sell them OURSELVES.

“Hello, Amazon? Hi, I like garlic bread and Spongebob. That’ll be $20.”

alfred-the-forest-mage:

yeettherich:

crazymagicbullshit:

Actually Chocolate doesn’t kill dogs, it actually just gives them heart worms, it’s the onions that are Extremely poisonous to dogs if given enough of it.

Uh… that isn’t true at all lol. Chocolate has theobromine in it, which dogs cannot process at the levels humans do.

rihsus:

if-only-angels-could-prevail:

if-only-angels-could-prevail:

dasha-loses-it:

c-bassmeow:

Gay people from 1950-2010: we are human just like you, we’re not another species or a subculture, the only difference is that we are attracted to the same gender.

Gay people in 2018: straight people are stinky, WIG!

straight people ARE stinky

wig!

Gay people didn’t exist before 1950

mangolesbian:

the fish in animal crossing when you land your pole anywhere that isn’t directly in front of them:

celticpyro:

doujinshi:

so this kid he used to bully me in middle school before i got tough, well this is kind of a funny story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest
sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt bring my glasses but im going through the house because she told me to make myself at home and i see a family photo and im just like he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit. and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah i have a son your age actually and im just like wait… and she was like you’ll meet him later when we go to the car show, and im just like fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its me and her we’re holding hands being friendly and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not this is the same dude who used to fucking bully me in middle school and he starts fucking crying because he didnt know his mom was lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while, but im getting fucked by your mom.

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

A Therapist

OR

Some Stupid Plant That You Smoke